(:

2011-06-18T19:27:00.000+08:00

HOW I WISH I COULD SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.

2011-06-15T21:24:00.001+08:00

i love this video.

i love the songs.

i love his voice.

i love tobias sammet.

i love the guitar.

i love jens ludwig.

i love EDGUY.

i really really really do (=

2011-06-14T19:04:00.001+08:00

edu was so cute! <3

2011-06-13T21:58:00.001+08:00

MAGIC.

im in love metallica again! =D

2011-06-08T21:22:00.001+08:00

DAH.

cukup.

i'm alright now(=

if it's meant to be it'll happen, if not, then I'll move on.

I promised myself that, I made the effort, but nothing happened,

so as painful as it is now, I'll still move on.

If you pray and strive for something and you don't get it, Allah s.w.t will insha'allah give you something even better.

2011-06-05T16:04:00.001+08:00

i'm alive.

You, you say, you have lost the way
Got no aim, just livin' for today
Look up to the sky above
And see the morning sun again
You got so much power inside
So cry it out my friend

There's no use in hangin' all around
You're a king, can't you see your crown
Look into my eyes
So many things are waiting to be done
you just need a friend
Together we will sing along

power metal \m/

Bismiillahirahmanirahim

2011-06-04T17:37:00.002+08:00

I think that the stories of how people convert to Islam is wonderful. Theyre never the same, and the hardships they face are really terrible but Inshaallah, Allah s.w.t the Almighty will help them in their journey through their hard times. Their stories never seize to amaze me and what is more wonderful is how they are so strong in the faith, their believe in Allah and Islam. Really. Alhamdulillah. May Allah s.w.t bless them and Inshaallah they would be even stronger in their faith and that their hardships will end. Amin.

1 thing you'll never know is how it hurts to let you go

2011-06-04T15:56:00.001+08:00

'Powerful is not he who knocks the other down,

indeed powerful is he who controls himself in a fit of anger"

just wonderful.

2011-06-01T14:30:00.002+08:00

"tell me more"(=

omg get the cheatercheater song out of my freaking head!

cheater cheater

whered you meet her

down at ernie's bar?

did she smile your way

twirl her hair and say

how cute your dimples are?

did she use that line,

your place or mine,

as you danced with her real slow?

tell me cheater cheater whered you meet

that no good white trashed hoe.

liar liar

did you buy her

whiskey all night long?

did you hide your ring

in the pocket of your jeans

or did you just keep it on?

when the deed was done and you had your fun

did you think i wouldnt know?

tell me cheater cheater whered you meet

that no good white trashed hoe

now im not one to judge someone

that i aint never met

but to lay your hands on a married man

is bout as low gal can get

hey i wish her well as she rots in hell

and you can tell her i said so

tell me cheater cheater

whered you meet that no good white trashed her

loser loser hope you love her

cause youre stuck with her now

take your sorry butt

and load up all your stuff

and get the hell out of my house

but i just wish youd tell me one thing before you go

cheater cheater whered you meet

that no good white trashed hoe?

cheater cheatrer whered you meet that

low down uptown, slept with every guy around,

pressed down eyelash

no good white trashed hoe~

hahaha i typed that all.

i love the song!

I NEED MORE TECHNO SONGS.

2011-05-30T22:18:00.001+08:00

touch my skin, let the fun begin

hahaha hunting humans(insatiable)<3

yay physics spa tmr and i never study~~

woo!

The fallen one -Hammerfall

2011-05-29T16:29:00.002+08:00

i saw your face in the morning sun

i thought you were there

i heard your voice as the wind passed me by

silently, whispering my name

so many things that i wanted to say

forever left untold

i still remember the tears that you shed

over someone else

our love could never die

all i can do is cry

say a little prayer

for the fallen one

there is a light down at memory lane

slowly fading away

still holding on to the dreams torn apart

i will follow my heart

our love could never die

all i can do is cry

say a little prayer

for the fallen one

still on my own

chasing the sun

of a time long ago

shade in my heart

tearing apart

everything that i longed for

beautiful song <3

Oh, myself, my tears just fall in the dust

2011-05-27T19:06:00.006+08:00

macamrindugitutapiapayangakubolehbuat?dahlepasdahkesempatanaku.ishouldvegrabbedtheopportunitywhenihadachance.
rettingthemomentwhenicouldhavejustreachedout,itwasjustthereinfrontofmyeyesifonly!!
insteadiletitslipawayonlytofeelangryatmyselfnow.whatadumbassiwas,iam.
shouldvebutitstoolatenow.thelongingtheyearninginmyheart,cantdoanythingaboutit.

moving on!
another uneventful day, not worth mentioning.
but just now when we told each other how we used to not like each other and now how we've become close friends, it's kinda funny how people grow onto you as time passes by, and how the ones you've always been close to fade away.

i miss my old self hahaha.
i cant even be serious anymore. well~

i cant even freaking be angry for long periods anymore.

it kinda sucks, cause i need the anger. as strange as it may sound, i need to feel the anger to keep me going.

Pretending that we see doesn't give us the sight
Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive.
-Patterns, system of a down

2011-05-21T22:25:00.002+08:00

They say you never hear the bullet that kills
And I don't hear a sound

-The end of the world; Dio

2011-05-21T15:11:00.007+08:00

I guess i never knew, but do we ever really know?

-I dont believe in love (Queensryche)

how many more lies will fate tell me?

))))=

heh. i dont like flowers but tell me, how can you not like this?

Beautiful. I wanna go here someday.

nothing like sad dark sadistic music to boost your mood. how ironic.

edit:

random thought. just because people talk about something alot, it doesnt mean that theyre good. there are others which are better but just underrated. these are the gems you have to search really hard for.

just something that kept bugging me. no worries.

Reality hits so hard everyday, still there's so much we can do.

dont listen to them, dont listen to fools.

Dont surrender to despair, carry on.

random lines from heroes by revolution renaissance.

i am me, i cannot be what im not.

i dont wanna do the things you say

i dont wanna play the game you play

i just wanna be myself and walk the road without pretending.

sometimes powermetal uplifts me in a way no other music can.

\m/

I remember you

2011-05-20T20:03:00.002+08:00

(skid row - I remember you)

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

We spend the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights and every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

awww if i had a bf id totally get him to sing this song for me ((=

hope he can sing anyway. and yes he has to know how to play the guitar!

if dont know guitar, drums will do (((= if he knows how to play both, even better!

but the song is so nice. i dont usually like love songs, but this is an exception.

okay fine, i admit that i like love songs. okay?? but only ballads. NO POP LOVE SONGS.

and love as in innocent love. no sex or scary shit like that.

MOVING ON.

I believed in love and miracles
So how can I be blamed for what I've done?
And if it's still a sin to hide the best parts for yourself
Then I have sinned but only just begun

There's no thunder, no lightning
Just a gentle breeze
To warn you that something
Will bring you to your knees

i think Dio's such a good song writer. and added on with his voice, the song becomes some sort of magic. not everyone can make a song sound so magical and fantasy-like, and no one can in my opinion , do it like Dio does.

He's just wonderful, and its so sad that he had to go so fast.

And you'll see the sickly hands of time
Will write your final rhyme
And end a memory
(wasted time -Skid Row)

2011-05-20T15:50:00.001+08:00

when dio sings my heart just melts. awesome.

this song is magic with his voice.

2011-05-19T22:44:00.000+08:00

heh - keyboard confidence!

a new awesome phrase i learnt today((((=

2011-05-18T22:30:00.002+08:00

just looked at my blog statistics cause i was so friggin bored and found that i had audiences from germany and also from usa. hahahaha how cool is that.

HELLO!

if youre even reading anymore. probably not )=

im using my tumblr again.

well~

iforgothowitwasliketobepraisedbutnowthatiknowhowitfeelslikeagainitsareallyreallynicefeeling.

tofeelwantedtofeellikeyouareactuallyworthsomethingitfeelsreallyreallynice.

2011-05-18T15:08:00.001+08:00

I DONT BELIEVE IN LOVE

-QUEENSRYCHE

2011-05-17T19:21:00.001+08:00

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I SUBSCRIBED TO GROUPON.

random rant.

2011-05-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

THE ONLY THING I FEEL IS PAIN.

fuckthis

2011-05-15T20:48:00.002+08:00

Rainbows are sooo pretty.

i just wish that i could touch them with my hand, reach out to them, or catch them even.

such pretty things.

so are northern lights.

they're just like magic.

it's wonderful.

northern lights with a tint of rainbow. beautiful.

and tomorrow, 16th may 2011.
its the 1st year anniversary of dio's death.
and im crying. hahaha.

never thought i'd do that.
his voice, now that's magic.

RIP, DIO.

rock in peace.

Oh, never tell a secret
with your eyes
it's the eyes that let you down

-Straight Through the Heart; DIO

"The closer you get to the meaning.. The sooner you know that you're dreaming"

-Heaven and hell, Black Sabbath

2011-05-15T17:40:00.001+08:00

i hate it when songs have songs have long intro.

i mean, just get to the point bloody fuck hahahaha.

stranger in us all

2011-05-14T23:39:00.003+08:00

black masquerade hell yeah!

RAINBOW = LOVE

love the song.

thats my favourite guitarist, right there.

can you understand why he's just so epic?

2011-05-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

Lets Take a Second and reflect on what we can do
To be smart and play apart in somethin beautiful
Embrace life appreciate the fact you even breathing
Cuz we in the crosshairs and it's open season
If each one teaches one we got a good start
Your not a square cuz you care and have a good heart
We gotta speak soft, And listen harder
Its right in front of our face but we don't even bother

Chorus:
Think about it Think about it
Be about it, dont be afraid to speak about it
Don't cry about it even though they lie about it
set a fire, inspire dont turn the other cheek about it

Can't change the world over night
But we can start by saving a life
One at a time, One at a time

So lets make history and help out those in need
One at a time, One at a time
We can change a life

I be like my generations complaining about things that we don't have
But if you think about it we ain't got it so bad
Trust me I know bad, And I met worse
And it'd be so sad, To sit it and let it get worse
It's a simple concept we need to grasp quickly
Before we end up wishing we did something differently
So go and spread the word, And not the virus
C'mon lets get together try and put this all behind us

Chorus

If I could change a life, Then you can change a life
We can change a life, So lets just change a life
One at a time, One at a Time
If I could change a life, Then you can change a life
We can change a life, So lets just change a life
One at a time, One at a time
We can change a life

Chorus

-so pretty the song hahaha. One at a time- Travie McCoy

omg. so freaking pretty. rainbow!

2011-05-14T13:22:00.001+08:00

I don't believe in love
I never have, I never will
I don't believe in love
It's never worth the pain that you feel

i cleared my table!!

2011-05-08T22:36:00.001+08:00

Look at me
Do you see all the things
I want you, you to see?
You're telling me
Sure I know you so well?
But you just act when you are
Back against the wall

What is true, what is fake?
Everything that you make
Or you take, it's plain to see
Image wise, you're okay
But is there anything
Inside of you?

well. superb nice song sung by superb greatness hahahaha.

and deep meaning too.

ingo! hehehe. i was born 30 years too late darn it!

tears against your smile

2011-05-07T13:55:00.002+08:00

"sometimes people try and act so strange

hiding problems deep inside

cause they fear to be wrong

to take a look at their fragile side"

When things are bad don't know what to do
The answer is inside of you
Reality hits so hard everyday
Still there is so much you can do

Have faith in yourself, have faith in your life
Cause everything will be okay
Don't listen to them, don't listen to fools
And things that they don't want to see

Worlds keeps turning
While your heart is burning
Don't surrender to despair
Carry on

We are Heroes in the Night
On our Way into the Fight
We are Warriors of Light
and our Hearts are pure

We will fly into the Rainbow
Leave the worries far behind
We just follow our hearts
Cause we are Heroes
Heroes of this Life

\m/

JUDAS AT THE OPERA

2011-05-06T17:02:00.003+08:00

From our lives beginning on, we are pushed in little forms,

no one asked us how we'd like to be.

At school they teach us what to think, but everyone says different things

but they're all convinced that they're the ones to see.

People tell me A and B they tell me how i have to see,

the things that i have seen already clear.

i want out baby!

best helloween line up!

and...

SOO CUTE! ingo~

awesome hair <3

Way to long I've tried to be
What I could never be

(superheroes, Edguy)

2011-05-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

"in my heart, in my soul, i really hate to pay this toll"

i swear, his voice gives me the chills right up my spine.

2011-04-30T22:59:00.003+08:00

BEAUTIFUL.

i cant come up with any other words to describe this song,

and Kiske's voice just gives me the chills.

Shit, it's just wonderful.

One day, he'll go back to metal. I know he will. Just wait!

"now it's your turn to break free,
when you want the life,
you've got to see what it means."
- Your turn, Helloween

Let me out

2011-04-24T16:56:00.003+08:00

high above at the edge of the world

we're searching for glory and peace

when the time has come, we will see

i'll return to the land of the free

im the one with no name, and i wont play your game

im no light in the dark and no savior

let my powers unfold

and before i get cold

let me die as a rebel

or live as a freeman at last.

2011-04-17T18:48:00.002+08:00

Hate creates destruction
Greed wants to posses
Virus, massinfection
Force wants to oppress
Who's the core of evil
Who directs our fall
Who creates the chaos?
Who's responsible?

(GammaRay) Rise

2011-04-17T14:59:00.005+08:00

Saw prince just now (=

omg so so so so so so cute!

so technically hes a commoner now that he changed his uniform to the current one.

but well. he's so so so so so so so cute.

hahahaha.

i like people with glints of happiness so clearly reflected in their eyes.

some people dont even need to smile with their lips, their smiles are already in their eyes. (=

isnt this pretty?

igacu falls in brazil/argentina

pretty!

I am searching for something
Something I've never found

(GammaRay) Chasing Shadows

2011-04-16T22:48:00.002+08:00

changed my blog skin again. (=

alot of free time and dont wanna go study.

Studied in school.

Called a mugger by many people walking by.

=.-""

The rainbow on the left very nice right? hehehe.

New Zealand

Iceland

Venice

Tibet

Look at all these nice places.

So serene, so peaceful.

One day, I'll travel to these places.

I really really really just wanna relax, just wanna look and admire the beauty.

And Then take a cruise, not going anywhere, just relaxing.

Doesnt that sound wonderful? (=

2011-04-16T21:45:00.002+08:00

Iron Maiden- Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

The song has such a pretty bass solo.

Gamma's Ray Opportunity also has almost the same bass solo but the solo is prettier just cause Schlachter is playing it hahahaha.

This blog super redundant now.

But anyway.

tequila

2011-04-10T16:26:00.003+08:00

i swear this singer is really one of the best!!

just listen to him. power sia.

SHIELA~~~~~!!!

hahahaha steelheart!

i just wish theyd go back to their old sound.

2011-03-26T23:23:00.001+08:00

BEST. COVER. EVER!

2011-03-13T16:39:00.001+08:00

You dont fucking talk to people by saying do you remember me then logging off immediately do you?

this deserves a serious WHAT THE FUCK.

2011-02-25T20:36:00.003+08:00

it's not about what I WANT.

it's about what makes me feel COMFORTABLE.

And i dont find comfort in my self.

2011-02-25T19:47:00.001+08:00

What madness has taken hold of my heart?

itsjustnotfair.

for the love of god

2011-02-20T21:12:00.002+08:00

STEVE VAI!

hahaha, classic. i like the faces he makes while playing the guitar!

"making love to the guitar on stage".

HAHAHA!

p.s.

something completely unrelated and random:

i actually STUDIED physics.

lets see if i can apply it for tmrs test.

This is my front page

2011-02-20T16:35:00.001+08:00

and again something completely unrelated:

Life is but a dream
Drifting on a stream, a stream
Consciously it seems
All of what remains
Ego Brain
Man made shame,
Shame, love after it rains

You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the Fall
As I turn to sand
You took me by the hand
And declared, that love prevails over all.

I am just a man
Fighting other men
For land, for land
While I turn to sand
In spite of the pain
Ego Brain
Man made shame,
Shame, love after it rains

You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the Fall
As I turn to sand
You took me by the hand
And declared, that love prevails over all.

All of what remains
Ego Brain
Man made shame,
Shame, love after it rains

You see my pain is real
Watch my world dissolve
And pretend that none of us see the Fall
As I turn to sand
You took me by the hand
And declared, that love prevails over all.

(Love after it rains.)

Child in time.

2011-02-19T14:44:00.003+08:00

"I dont work on my weaknesses. I ignore them"
-Steve Vai

got to admire that in a guy.

Anyone can complain, but not anyone can work on their faults (or in vai's case, ignore them)

I just adore him! he's such an awesome guitarist.

he WAS hot last time too hahahaha.

but looks dont matter in the metal/rock world really.

steve vai actually composed both the duel solos. hahaha. he defeated himself. he was so freaking cool i swear.

ptr yesterday.

it was so freaking fun lah. hahaha.

i went to band yesterday!

for the reason that i can actually go off early.

shouldve followed wen hui slack off somewhere.

another time ah perhaps.

4.30 went off. met shafiqah and farah.

went off to ljs. =D

then went back.

quite early so went to class, kemas kemas a bit.

then went down to hall.

daddeh was coming late so went inside the hall w/o others first and sat at the back, next to jasmine.

jasmine's dad was coming late as well, at 7.

sat through the boring talk with shirlyn beside me and kept talking about others' parents.

HAHAHA! shiok ah i tell you. hahaha.

then 2 seats in front of me was m.a.z.z.

HAHAHAHA! kept staring ah at him. power.

best seat yet.

then ptr so sian down there wait for my dad to come.

talked with some random people.

saw parents of friends. personalities kinda the same.

Scary.

hahaha.

then dad came w bro.

annoying.

told ms soh my dad finally came.

then ms howe was done w her students so we went to ms howe instead of mdm chan. (YES!)

hahahaha. ms howe also so nice liddat.

then talk talk get report book go home.

and even though dad came after farah's, we see teacher first!

hahahaha. my dad is cool.

so thats that then.

and now something completely unrelated.

Love conquers all =D

joe lynn turner with his beautiful voice.

Id just melt hahaha.

what id give to meet this man and watch him live.

bonus clip hahaha:

STEVE VAI!

Stone Cold

2011-02-16T21:40:00.003+08:00

maybe time for a proper update?

-> results were unsatisfying.

-> proud of my compo though hahahaha

-> currently obsessed with disturbed.

-> really curious how system sound like live now! Theyre so old alr!

-> school tmr again )=

-> woke up at 12 just now (=

-> wasted the whole day just now =D

"let the living die" - Voices, Disturbed

so cute!

mascot "the guy" for disturbed. ((((=

Wasted Sunsets

2011-02-16T20:16:00.000+08:00

2011-02-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

DARON WAS SO CUTE!

heheheh.

SOAD!

tourtourtourtourtour.

2011-02-14T21:08:00.002+08:00

BEING SICK SUCKS.

i like DISTURBED.

WYWH

2011-02-02T13:34:00.003+08:00

cny celeb just now.

okay lah.
actually, quite fun.

wish you were here.

i miss you like hell

i miss your smile,

i miss everything about you

every second's like a minute,

every minute's like a day

when you're far away.

-->i really like the song. "wish you were here". blackmore's night.

so just now after the celeb wanted to go slack around abit at ssc.

but then i got angry for some reason and instead went to ride bubs 804.

big mistake. you cant imagine the stink there.

good thing i had my perfume.

wasted quite alot of time.

reached home at about 11.45.

when school dismissed at what? 9.30

banyak baik aku.

entah lah aku buat apa eh.

I dont seem like it but im getting pissed at minor things.

just like before.

sooner or later i'll revert back to my old self.

fuck, i know nobody reads this blog anymore,

which really makes it safe to let it all out.

but just in case.

and i am so malas to use the private blog.

Fuck Ah.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

This increasing want to slit my wrists.

To feel pain.

Fuck man.

What is this?

I wont cry for you

2011-01-30T18:56:00.002+08:00

joe lynn turner =D

rainbow!

classic rock!

im still not done with journal!!

hahahaha.

WHATEVS.

2011-01-29T23:16:00.002+08:00

heh, searching pictures to deco journal.

SYSTEM SYSTEM SYSTEM.

RAGE RAGE RAGE.

im gonna put down random lyrics from bands too.

heh.

i have the image but i cant really pen it down.

or in this case, portray it down.(?)

Paradise

2011-01-22T22:00:00.005+08:00

thinking of you makes me sick to my stomach.

and it's not because im disgusted.

i can't explain how i feel.

it's been 2 years.

i'll always, always, pray for you, for your happiness, for your success.

you are one of the most important people in my life.

there's not a day that goes by where i don't think about you.

i can't do anything, except just pray for you.

i've given up hope, but that doesn't mean i've given up my feelings.

it's hard to explain really.

"you are the reason why it tears me up inside."

funny how the song is mostly popular with people above 35 years of age.

erm.

that's more than half my age damn it!!

hahahahaha.

2011-01-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

Psycho Love

2010-12-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

Something lately drives me crazy
has to do with how you make me
struggle to get your attention
calling you brings aprehension
Texts from you and
sex from you
are things that are not so uncommon
flirt with you you're all about it
tell me why I feel unwanted?

Damn if you didn't want me back
why'd you have to act like that?
It's confusing to the core
'cause I know you want it
Oh, and if you don't wanna be
something substantial with me
then why do you give me more?
Babe I know you want it

Say that you want me every day
that you want me every way
that you need me
got me trippin'
super psycho love
Aim, pull the trigger
feel the pain getting bigger
go insane from the bitter feeling
trippin' super psycho love

Pull me off to darkened corners
where all other eyes avoid us
tell me how I mesmerize you
I love you and despise you
Back to the crowd where you ignore me
bedroom eyes to those before me
How am I supposed to handle
lit the fuse and missed the candle

Damn, if you wanna let me go
baby please just let me know
you're not gonna get away with
leading me on

Say you want me
say you need me
tear my heart out slow
and bleed me

You want me
you need me
you're gonna
be with me

I know you want me too
I think you want me too
please say you want me too
because you're going to

2010-12-23T13:06:00.001+08:00

SIMON CURTIS!

i just found out about him.

that guy's got talent.

Honesty sometimes beats the crap out of you. Lying shelters you.

2010-12-13T15:46:00.004+08:00

getting started on history hw.

in guess that no one reads this anymore.

well...

let's be honest, for once.

- I miss amira. I miss when we used to be close. when we're joking around. I miss my lab partner last year. I miss when you made fun of me and got so scared when i was offended. I liked the way you apologised to me then, when you bought me pocky and wrote (typed, really) me a long sms saying how you 'missed your cute friend (:". I miss those times. I liked it when you were hyper and when you smiled alot. i kinda missed those times when you complained about band. and when you scolded me and all that. i especially miss the times you nag, though i dont know why.

maybe im just holding on to the past. but really, is the present better? i laugh at my stupidity, complaining how i miss the past, when i still move through the present days. saying how much the past is better, when i actually like the change in myself. i think everyone can see how much i've changed.

- I miss Nisa. I miss the times when we used to be close too. The times in pri. sch when we had a lot to talk about. I miss our friends then too. But you kinda drifted away from me. Or was it me that drifted away from you? And i want to apologise to you for hurting you, cause back then i was kinda, no, very rough, from my language to my actions. i want to thank you to, for all the things youve done for me, great things. but i cant bring myself to say that to you. it would be kinda weird to say thank you for the past things, when i couldve said them then, but chose not to. i guess i got(still do) a big ego. and im sorry for letting you put up with such an asshole like me. youre a really nice friend to have, and i miss having that nice friend with me. and now, its so awkward. it's so so so awkward. it sucks, really.

maybe im the one that's changing too much. maybe, by changing into the person i like, im neglecting the people that helped me through last time. and i dont blame them at all. it's me who didnt keep in contact. it's me who didnt make the effort to cherish and hold the friendship together. it's always my fault. im such a motherfucker.

- I miss Elisha too. You were emo, but you had words that touched the heart. You went high with me and our tastes in music were similar, (though you liked bangra which i didnt like, really). I miss talking to you. You always had a lot to say, and I kinda needed someone who could just talk and i'd just listen. I liked it most when you were happy. But then.. I dont know. And that downturn really took a fall and everything, our friendship, just kinda crashed and burned. It's gonna take a while to reach the same level like last time.

But if i was a good friend, i'd not watch it fall the way i did. if i was a good friend, i'd help you feel better. I'd make sure you needed the right amount of space, not too much, that we'd eventually drift away the way we did, and not too little, that you'd feel uncomfortable. But see, the IF plays a big part. and i guess im not a good friend, not at all.

I let 3 huge friendships go, just like that. Like i couldnt be bothered. I hope you all feel disappointed with me, cause id feel that way if i were you guys. It sucks, it really sucks. im a shit face who's an asshole. Serves me right for losing friends like you.

What else did i do?

Band? I let down everyone. I neglected everyone. I broke promises. I made people feel angry. This is shit. This is really shit.

this year's really been a shit year. "Honeymoon Year" my fucking ass.

2010-12-09T12:31:00.001+08:00

I wish i could find the right words to say

I wish that i could will the pain away

I wish i had someone that could catch me when i fall

but sometimes, i wish i was nobody at all.

im asphyxiating myself.

2010-12-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

i love the word asphyxiate!

"Break Myself, Slave to My Weakness. Choke On My Words (ohimdrowningifeelsoalone)"

ATREYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

2010-11-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

IM SUCHA BAD FRIEND!

I FORGOT MY GOOD GOOD GOOOD GOOOOOOOOOOOD FRIEND FATIN'S BIRTHDAY!

IM SO SORRY!

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2010-11-28T21:34:00.001+08:00

http://redisviolence.tumblr.com/

my tumblr.

not active tho

2010-11-28T21:34:00.000+08:00

http://redisviolence.tumblr.com/

my tumblr.

not active tho

2010-11-26T21:05:00.001+08:00

i dont know what to say.

hahaha

im geting lazy.

"it's not easy to lie, but it's harder saying the truth."

i made that up myself (=

i guess the best thing is to shut up then?

2010-11-22T23:26:00.002+08:00

i dont know why,

i miss you kinda.

wow, the song i listen to really suits my mood.

psychic much?

=.-"

but really.

bloggers getting dead.

perhaps im moving to tumblr soon.

maybe.

then maybe ill be more active there.

maybe.

gah.

why did i throw you out of my life?

hahaha.

now i wont have someone to talk to on msn.

hahaha.

good times.

and you too.

ive thrown so many people out of my life.

i wonder if its for the good or bad, really.

im kinda starting to regret my actions.

2010-11-16T17:57:00.003+08:00

serj (=

a little strained on the high notes and his squeaky voice came out.

still great though.

i liked the start. (=

heh isnt this guy cute? =D

saw him in a movie in the hotel in msia.

hes not really hot. not up to my standards hahahaha.

but he's so cute!

hahahahaha.

got that boyish charm.

and that jawline, gosh.

hahahaha.

2010-11-15T15:12:00.003+08:00

HEY THERE DONT YOU TOUCH MY BELT!

back from kl bought a belt

hahahaha.

its a rainbow belt!

2010-11-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

i love daron that crazy mutha-

you know the rest.

heh.

2010-11-12T20:16:00.002+08:00

something's wrong with me, i think.

i kinda feel rejected.

oh well.

i deserve it dont i?

hey man dont you touch my belt!

2010-11-11T22:11:00.000+08:00

standing in the sun im wasting my time!

funny (=

2010-11-11T20:04:00.003+08:00

i like scars on Broadway.

theyre kinda random and theyre lyrics are really quite vulgar.

i like their lyrics.

hahaha!

been exercising!

so funnnn!

hah, my calves hurt like one kind,

i Love the Pain ((=

"come eat some chemicals with me (="

madness! no one cared......

i love the song chemicals!

hahahaha.

"oh baby baby, wont you rape me, wont you fantasize, about the times when we were lovers?"

hahahaha.

love their songs.

system come back!

hahaha.

i hope they come back next year, next year id have at least SOMETHING to look forward to.

heh.

itsnotthatidontwanttogoreally.

itsjustthatifeeloutofplace,

iusedtoenjoyit,butthenafterawhileijustfeltlikeicantclickwiththepeople.

whenigo,peoplethinkimemo,imnotreally,ijustcantrelatetopeople.

theonlypersonicanrelatetoisnasrul,andwhenijusttalktohimpeoplethinkilikehim.

argh.

give me some time to think about this for a while?

to prep myself.

it's been a long time since i went to band.

i need to find the motivation.

one thing i cant stand is people asking why have i not been coming, why this why that.

im not ready to face band.

hahaha!

funny.

oh can i see you like right now!??!

supercalifraagilisticyeah!

2010-11-10T19:38:00.002+08:00

oh god, maybe i want to have something to do with science in the future!
hahahaha.

im interested in muscles.

i know its random but it's so fun!

hahahahaha.

maybe a physiotherapist.

since they deal with muscles and all.

its so cool.

and then when i search online for some exercises,

i came across some exercises that my physiotherapist taught me/told me to do.

hahahaha.

and i was like, looks familiar.

hahaha.

anyway,

perfect nose has perfect gluteus!

that means butt muscles.

okay, so im pervertic.

but just look at that solid ass!

okay im a pervert.

big time.

2010-11-09T20:41:00.001+08:00

its wrong for me to miss you.

but i do.

i miss you.

and im sorry i do.

what am i doing.

have to get my mind prepared for O's tmr!

but my heart's saying that it misses you.

i cant help feeling this way.

i miss you.

2010-11-07T14:31:00.000+08:00

hi my internet is fucked (=

we still play out in the rain

2010-11-03T19:55:00.001+08:00

OHMYLAPTOP IS BACK!

=D=D=D

2010-11-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

A-R-G-H..

2010-11-02T20:59:00.003+08:00

EMPHASIS ON FUNCTION RATHER THAN DESIGN.

hi i am bored.

doing malay now heh.

...............................................................................

i am exhumed,

just a little less human a lot more bitter and cold

i cant type fast w this keyboard darn it.

aku tidak boleh taip dengan pantas di papan kekunci komputer ini.

amacam?

hahaha!

"pantas" betul kan??

hell's flaming core

2010-11-02T16:37:00.004+08:00

somewhere along the line,

everything just kinda changed.

for better or for worse? i kinda miss the times when i had a reason to cry, when something doesnt go right. i even kinda miss the times when i used to enjoy going to band. and especially the times when i did well for my studies. well, i guess change is inevitable. im not changing myself now.

it's kinda too late.

MAYBE I AM A SADIST.

and well, i kinda miss you ALOT.

and now, when i try to cry,

tears cant come out,

i've dried my tears out.

kinda.

it's not just me who changed though.

sometimes i just miss past.

i guess im the only one then.

maybe.

2010-10-31T16:17:00.001+08:00

and did i mention i saw hot guy today?

heh,

that makes me day (=

i only wish he'd actually smile a bit.

))))=

2010-10-31T16:00:00.002+08:00

hi.

erm i recently lost something that's very important to me which is my laptop

*sob*

and if youre wondering how the hell i can blog still, it's cause im using my sister's mini dell.

which sucks, really cause it has VERY little memory, only 8 gig, so i cant download any songs, which really sucks. so er.

and if youre wondering why i lost my laptop, its probably cause some virus did something to the harddrive. and gonna send it to the shop tmr. in the mean time, ill just use this.

i dont like it, but i have no choice, or else im gonna become a hobo.

except im not really a hobo.

my stomach feels kinda weird, maybe i just wanna puke but maybe not either.

argh i miss my other laptop.

this keyboard is so weird. so tiny and so small.

it perfectly fits my pinky though hahaha.

but strangely i can adapt to this keyboard.

oh well.

at least i have youtube and im installing messenger too so i probably wont be bored i hope.

oh man i need my playlist from that laptop damn it.

gr,

i miss my laptop!!!

2010-10-29T20:49:00.002+08:00

weeell.

it's not that i dont want to go.

i just wish that someone from there understands me.

i enjoy it, at least i used to.

somewhere along the line, something changed.

and it wasnt me.

i dont like changes.

have i posted this before?

i feel the music man. hahaha.

this is real music, not the shit you guys are playing and labelling poorly as music.

hm.

2010-10-29T16:20:00.000+08:00

hahaha, holy shit now im obsessed with concerto moon ((=

.............................................

Anybody feeling as empty as me now?

forever gonna be the last man standing!

2010-10-28T15:30:00.007+08:00

the singer's face is funny.

but metal's not about the faces.

it';s about the voice the guitar the drums the bass the perfect blend.

sonata arctica rocks shit.

hahaha!

they play the songs so fast i feel like im drugs.

heh.

they cover helloween's 'i want out'!!

they made it sound less gay, really.

but i somehow kinda prefer helloween's version...

oh well. i like the fast tempo (=

power metal really is the shit.

leave me be! -helloween, i want out.

2010-10-28T15:26:00.002+08:00

hahaha, found a new band (=

hammerfall.

it's a powermetal band.

duh.

heh.

swedish power metal band.

cool cool cool cool cool.

hahahaha.

and im hooked on melodic death metal too.

yay for melody and hardcore screams!

Kill by any means necessary
Win by any means necessary
Live by any means necessary
Die by any means necessary

2010-10-27T22:58:00.001+08:00

hahaha, this is just shit, i just missed rainbow on the radio online.

kinda cool to be playing tunes like rainbow.

so long ago.

hahahaha.

i just love classic rock.

last goodbye

2010-10-25T21:20:00.005+08:00

PULAU SEMAKAU WAS SUPER (=

thought it would be the smelly stuff with the rubbish there but the air was so clean.

i liked the wind.

i liked the scenery.

we did titanic there hahaha.

got that in shafiqah's phone.

i am so dead tired.

hmt drains all my energy from me.

got home at 6.30, slept a bit, ate and slept all the way till 8.30.

then shower.

how unhygienic is that.

but too tired to move.

so i slept on the sofa.

that;s even more disgusting.

imagine the germs.

nyeh.

but honestly, youre killing me. - watching us die tonight, BFMV

2010-10-23T18:25:00.001+08:00

they sound pretty nice here (=

though jay's (the bassist) half assed screams kinda ruined it.

matt's 'scream aim fire' was perfect!

hahahahahahaha matt.

no more lies

2010-10-22T21:04:00.001+08:00

back against the wall

what the fuck just happened

dont you cry

hahahaha, im so addicted to 'watching us die tonight'

it's kinda like bullet's old sound (=

2010-10-22T20:19:00.002+08:00

i'm a one-man army.

i think malay is interesting.

hahahaha, cikgu is so cool to make me feel that way.

if you asked me like, 5 months back,

i wouldve said its the most boring subject after physics.

but now, im starting to enjoy malay.

InsyaAllah, I'd be able to get a distinction for Malay O's this year and continue studying with cikgu next year.

finally tried koi just now before hmt.

it's nice.

but i wouldnt waste my money and buy it a second time.

i wouldnt waste my time either hah.

huh, it actually made me appreciate each-a-cup's price.

=.-

2010-10-22T11:55:00.000+08:00

How could my dream turn to despair?

God they can seriously scream!!!!

2010-10-22T11:49:00.002+08:00

how come i'm so slow?

there's like so many nice BFMV songs but i only hear them now.

hahahahaha.

I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!

sucks that my voice aint low enough.

gr.

i need my man voice.

hahahahaha.

ah, hmt later.

i am actually enjoying hmt.

how interesting is that.

the haze got better!but still blur blur ah.

there's so many songs to listen to and so many bands to discover.

hahaha.

heh

2010-10-21T20:21:00.002+08:00

LAKI NI GEREK KE APER!

HAHAHAHAHA I LIKE THIS GUY!!

i love his hair!

i like his face when he shiok sendiri!

that tattoo.. jewish star hahaha.

he jewish?

heh who cares.

i like him, he's talented!

Trash and Scattered (=

2010-10-19T20:40:00.002+08:00

Keep on writing you're just raping yourself
(nothing can take my mind away from them)
Don't you ask about me, ask 'bout somebody else
(Once I've fallen there's many stories to tell)
I can't feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far ya take it (stuck in a state of questioning)
And don't you tell me you know we' re destined,
you won't convince me, I won't listen
(Resentment building, you've put our lives on hold)

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destinations always are known, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Play your game, and walk away your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else
(Nothing in front of me but holes ahead)
Lie about my life, have a story to tell
(Lights went down, was on the edge and I fell)
Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me,
should make you worried
(Long way to go and you're right there)
Two-faced liar, don't try and know me,
deceit brings fire, makes sure you can't breathe
(Pick at pieces of my body below)

I never bothered with all the rumors, too much garbage (all the same)
I'll stand right here, come on you falsehood deceitful liar
(There's no shame)
Don't ever take my side, I know you're never right, I'll justify the means (Nothing's what it seems)
I'll stand around and fight, but there's no point tonight,
been chained to this machine

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while fuckin' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination is always unknown, I'll find my way there
but Goddamn Impostor are you out of your mind?

walk down these roads alone and now you're seen here
My feelings that I'm having towards you are perfectly clear (I control this ride)
My devils appetite is tonight and now I'm alright
But you Goddamn Motherfuckers always wasting my time

Play your game you'd better walk away cause your integrity don't mean shit
Crawl on me you fucking parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Don't try and get the best of me (No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache (Lonely, don't try to prey on me)x2
I feel your world keep dying, no more use in tryin'
And my body's trashed and low,
but to you I'll never show myself for what's inside
And I've seen it all before but I'll settle the score,
I'll never join your side

Just remembered this song by a7x.

old song.

so nice!

why the hell did they change their sound?!

hahahaha, cheek so itchy now NO SCRATCHING!

DONT WANT GO BAND TMR.

shall i skip? (=

2010-10-18T22:41:00.001+08:00

LETS GO SHAFIQAH'S HOUSE AGAIN!

2010-10-15T17:21:00.001+08:00

CONCERTO MOON!

though i dont like their current singer.

2010-10-15T14:08:00.002+08:00

was going through the mixpod playlist.

then saw and remembered all those bands i used to like.

hahaha.

def leppard, msg, ACDC, Alice Cooper.

hahahaha.

shiok ah all those bands last time.

i was never bored.

hahahaha.

let me listen to them again!

2010-10-14T18:06:00.002+08:00

changed skin.

i prefer this one than the prev.

the three links above : " facebook, tumblr, twitter"

i lazy wanna remove.

anyway it doesnt disrupt my life.

so.

2010-10-14T17:17:00.002+08:00

ah, finally exams over. can take a little breather.

there's something wrong with me there's something wrong with you yayayyaayyayay.

system come back!

i hope they end their hiatus next year and bring more awesomeness......

their songs make me high.

fuck you.

sending that right before my fucking papers, how could i fucking focus you motherfucker?

you think that helped?!
i was fucking trying to concentrate.

fuck you.

i was so fucking distracted i couldnt fucking concentrate.

fuck you.

if what you intended was for me to fail, youre getting it.

fuck you.

let's review the exams yeah.

combined humans - hopeful pass

e math/a math/physics/ chem - er.

english- depends.

malay - dont need care

hmt- maybe.

there ya go.

changing skin.

2010-10-12T14:57:00.001+08:00

HM.

WHEN YOU SAY THAT EVERYONE IS FINDING FAULT WITH YOU,

DONT YOU FUCKING THINK THAT YOU MAY BE THE FUCKING PROBLEM?!

seriously.

you

are

big

fucking

bitch.

argh i cant stand you go to hell.

"burn in hell."

2010-10-10T20:41:00.002+08:00

ah i know im not supposed to be blogging.

im so pissed pissed pissed at everyone.

even people im not supposed to angry at.

i just realised how angry i am at certain people.

im so late. im so oblivious.

exams are so fucking useless.

such a fucking waste of my time.

"but it's alright, oh it's alright.

just another day".

oh welll.

"too many change around you. you laugh but you never smile"

"i hate these thoughts i cant deny"

gr.

"truth is the only sword bleeding minds"

FUCK I LOVE ROCK MUSIC.

wrong time to be obsessing over them i know i know i fucking know.

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

no time to stress.

must relax.

hahahah, im trying a different approach this year. (=

to relax and not stress.

sounds good.

let's see the results.

really, im not studying as much as i used to.

HAHAHA, makes me sound like a mugger.

welll

time for ss (screw society)...

2010-10-01T15:54:00.001+08:00

" dont write in starlight, cause it just might come true "

but if it's true, i want to write about you.

HAHAHA HOW CORNY WAS THAT!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

exams and what am i doing.

im supposed to be doing my work.

im so distressed with myself.

im appalled at how i am able to blog and still not study with my marks being like shit.

argh.

fuck me.

hahaha.

2010-09-26T19:51:00.002+08:00

I'm a one man army, a two man fight
I got a steelheart and I'll die for my right
I'm a one man army, a two man fight
I got a steelheart and I'll die

hahaha, fucking love steelheart.

You can throw me down and kick me, but you're never gonna see me run
I'll pick myself right back up and load my guns

ahahaha, call me crazy but i cant stop smiling while listening to this song!

hahaha, great shit them old music.

cant stand the crap they call music now.

ah i miss rainbow!

RIP DIO.